Don’t Ask Questions. Make Statements.

In the world of improvisational theater, questions are a scene killer. Just last week, in my Level 3 class at Manhattan’s Magnet Theater, my instructor and Magnet cofounder Alex Marino challenged us to do our scenes without asking a single question. I lasted less than 30 seconds. It’s a lot fucking harder than you realize. I was shocked at how bad ...

Fuck Fate & Date Like a Grown Up

You want to believe that if you’re a good girl, the world will deliver unto you the Perfect Guy. That Fate or God is the ultimate matchmaker, pulling the strings of your life to make shit happen. “We’re soul mates!” is the rallying cry of emotional pygmies. Yeah, it’s time to grow the fuck up. The real reason you rely on fate, and not action, is th ...

How You Met Doesn’t Fucking Matter

In his recent post on The Date Report, Ryan Dodge pokes fun at the tendency every couple feels to schtick-up their how-we-met story. He admits that his first date with his current girlfriend was forgettable at best. He asked her out again because she was hot, and why not. But he certainly didn’t stumble out of that date bleary-eyed with love. ...

Just Say No to You-Go-Girl Advice

  The day 50-year-old white suburban women started throwing around the phrase “you go girl” was the day that the phrase ran out of cultural gas. (Actually, I’m pretty sure it lost pop culture potency when this company used it to name its odor-zapping toilet conditioner.) And while the phrase itself has been rendered impotent ...

PDA Will Save Your Relationship

You’re sitting at a bar when you look over and see this couple. Or should I say THAT couple. You can’t miss them. Their roaming hands and mouths and sultry stares. Their dinners untouched as they practically consume each other whole. You feel disgusted. Offended. Mad, even. You think, How vile! How vulgar! Get a room, Jesus. They’ ...