When you find out a guy has been married before, do you hit the brakes? Worry that he may have too much…baggage? I tell you what: You should be far more afraid of the dudes with zero baggage. I personally have never trusted someone who travels a little too light. You want a real grown-up […]

You’ve spotted him. He’s the one you want and there’s no denying it. What do you do–stand coyly by and hope he notices you, chooses you, initiates? You can. But the women with a little hustle are going to beat you to it. I will beat you to it. I’m not telling you you have […]

I cried like a bitch at the end of The Sessions. This was not a single tear or two. This was full-on heaving, both hands to your head and give it up in a snobby, snotty fit. If you saw the movie, you know why. Because it’s incredibly fucking moving. Because you fall in love […]

Why? Because I’ve ruined a few. And not just Christmas–pick any holiday, really. It happens the same way every time: I drive up with the best of intentions, sipping coffee on the Merritt Parkway, indulging in caffeinated visions of familial joy. I think, “I’m going to be really nice this time. And fun. And if […]

If you turn your nose up at online dating, or love to complain about how “it doesn’t work,” I have a suggestion: Replace the term “online dating” with “my love life” and you’ll have a fairly accurate take on what’s holding you back in the relationships department. Look, I know why you’re afraid: You think […]

You have this idea about dating. And it’s wrong. Actually, you have a lot of ideas, presumptions, assumptions, and suspicions about dating, and they’re the things that hold you back and make dating miserable. One of my favorites is this one: “Dating takes too much effort.” I’m sorry—wha? Anything worth doing requires effort. Sure, dating […]

The holidays can be very tricky ground–especially if you’re in a relationship that likely will not make it to 2013. When the New York Times’s Social Q’s columnist Philip Galanes came on my radio show last week,* he said it simply: “You’re entering the no-fly zone.” In other words, if you’re going to get out, get […]

In the final scene of Breaking Dawn, Part II (trust me, this is hardly a spoiler), our immortal lovers make out in a field of daisies, promising they will love each other forever. As the scene fades to black, the word “forever” burns across the screen. And it occurred to me shortly thereafter, in the […]

If You're Not a Mother or Wife, You're Not a Woman (or So We're Told)

When Mika Brzezinski told the audience at Arianna Huffington’s Thrive event last spring about the day she was fired from CBS, she described it as devastating. As she packed up her things and walked out, she said to herself, “Damn! I’m…
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Screw Dating. Just Get Married (Yes I Said That)

If you're dating and dating and you hate it and wish you could just get married already, well, maybe you should do that. Exactly that: Get married NOW, and date that person later. I got this nutty idea from Hellen Chen, who has given herself…

Don't Get Mad at Data, Even If It Knows When You Should Be Married

A while back Time magazine announced its Facebook app that tells you when you should be married. It pissed a lot of people off. My question is, if you're mad, why? What the app purports to do is mine your and your friend's Facebook data…

How I Learned to (Literally) Play the Field: Getting Over My Fear of Football

I'm the world's very worst sports fan. Meaning, I'm not a sports fan. I don't follow it, and am so utterly ignorant about the whos and whats of sport it's embarrassing. In fact, it's been a concern of mine since, well, as long as I can remember,…

How Stuff Gets Written: Insight Into the Creative Process

How does stuff get written? Depends on who's writing it. I know some writers obsess about their "process" but the biggest challenge for me is sitting my ass down and doing it. The one thing that makes a writer different from anyone else,…